.PRINCESSHA.

2011-09-11T23:45:00.004+08:00

sometimes i wonder...

with things to come...

what am i to you...

where do i stand...

am i not significant enough,

that you cant tell me things anymore...

am i not significant enough,

to know what are your thoughts, fears, worries...

am i not significant enough,

that you cant call me often...

am i not significant enough,

that you cant ask me out often...

i need to know i am more than that.

i need to know. soon.

2011-07-09T23:42:00.002+08:00

uhm. hi. i have lots of thoughts i wanna write down. but i'm too lazy.

oh and guess what. i am getting married. yup i am. in about 4 months time.

that's like 19 weeks. i am freaking out.

:-(

2011-05-15T12:34:00.000+08:00

2009-11-20T21:50:00.000+08:00

the countdown has started...

the adventure has begun...

and i am glad that it is with you...

:-)

2009-11-01T03:12:00.000+08:00

2009-10-27T10:23:00.001+08:00

it was just us, peach milk tea & doughnuts…

a simple movie date on a monday school night…

somehow…

it felt magical & left me doing my silly goofy grin…

sometimes..

it’s just the simplest things you do together...

that make your heart all warm & fuzzy…

2009-08-16T06:20:00.004+08:00

the irreversible ticking silent and unheard...
with much speed and haste it slides unnoticed...
lost crystal ball nowhere not ever to be seen...
breathless anticipation clouds the essence of time...

intense distraction shadowed the muted longing..
how much no other soul can know...
murmuring whispers on sleepless stars...
ethereal dreams just for the faithful heart..

2009-07-22T04:12:00.001+08:00

happy 4th sweetheart...

2009-06-07T06:42:00.003+08:00

i have decided that i will talk or discuss issues with regards to work only to the minor few who genuinely care or truly understand exactly what i am going through in school... i sincerely appreciate the endless endearing moral support from my girlfriends.. my dearest ladies, it makes me feel so much better about myself, really.. *huggles*

i seriously think i need to revamp my 'Cupcake Chicas' website really soon.. its getting a wee bit too boring for me... now waiting for wak johnny to vector out the logo for me.. heh..

time is really the essence of life... i realized that i dont even have time to cook or bake anymore... *sigh* its very upsetting & pathetic honestly... most of the time i will come home feeling super drained and tired... i will just collapse (always unglamourously) into bed as soon as i possibly can because i have to be awake by 3.30am (!!!) the very next day...

i am extremely blessed to have a special someone who makes sure i have something to eat at work, every single day without fail... for all the effort he puts in to cook my daily breakfast meals, i can never thank him enough... he is really a true gem :-)

there are a bunch of other stuff which i wanted to blog about as well... but as always im too lazy to crystallize my thoughts and type it into words.. perhaps i'll just save all my personal input into the recesses of my mind for the time being..

till whenever.. ciao... *blows kisses*

2009-05-04T21:23:00.001+08:00

it was the sweetest thing...

2009-04-12T15:02:00.004+08:00

i was moved to tears when i first watched it on tv...

a valuable lesson learnt...

2009-03-29T15:49:00.005+08:00

my crazy desire to resign from my full-time job is really getting to me. the more i think about it, the more determined i am to just drop everything and embark on my 'cupcake chicas' venture with all my heart and soul.

but many said i'm not talking sense at all. now that i am posted to another (much better) place, no doubt i am indeed grateful that i have been given alot of faith, encouragement & support by the management. i shouldnt be wasting the golden opportunity which has been laid for me, should i. i have been told numerous times that it will be unwise of me should i ever do that. but honestly, the career path they planned for me isnt exactly what i planned to be in. i am quite contented to just stay in my previous track as it is the primary reason i decided to join the service in the very first place.

but oh well.. it is this same job that pays the bills. and i still love it nonetheless. it is my passion after all. i am well aware that whatever i have done, i know it is worth all my time and energy whenever i see the smiley faces.

but there are certain issues which are making me extremely exhausted, drained and feeling demotivated. i really really am. i dont know how much more i can take. i dont know how i can be more understanding or accomodating. it is almost like a 'one-man' show, and it is tiring you know. i am only trying to do my work to my best capability. so far, alhamdulillah i have been able to keep all my tasks in check despite all odds and without much assistance. but i just realized it is starting to affect my emotional & physical well-being.

some advised me to stop or at least reduce my tuition commitments, assuming that it can possibly help to make me feel much better. but after much consideration, i do not think i want to do that. although i may not have any ounce of energy left after slaving myself the whole day at work, i actually do enjoy and feel much more happier going for these evening tuitions as i only teach and nothing else. i was actually thinking of taking up more slots if i have more time to spare.

'cupcake chicas' is of course, what i thoroughly love doing the most. it is my personal remedy, an avenue for me to destress. i have always wanted to have a full-scale business of my own and i seriously believe i can achieve that with 'cupcake chicas'. looking at all the so-called haute couture exclusive cupcakes from various books and international websites, i get super frustrated as i know i able to do likewise. but i cannot do it because i do not have the time. baking & creating those uber nice cakes definitely consume alot of time and energy. i can just stay at home the whole day, devotedly placing all my concentration and effort in improving and making the best designed cakes or cupcakes. i truly want to do only that, as it simply makes me happy.

but i cant :-(

2009-02-22T22:21:00.002+08:00

“When I saw destiny cascading
with no uncertainty or hesitation,

I entrusted all rights to my Creator
and threw myself in to the current.”

[The Book of Illumination]

2009-02-18T13:17:00.003+08:00

I wish I can just stop whatever work I’m doing right now because…

I feel like going out and taking some nice random pictures…
I feel like having salmon sashimi as I don’t feel like eating anything from the school canteen…
I feel like going to a library and borrow an interesting chick lit novel to read…
I feel like watching re-runs of 'Friends' and laugh myself silly...
I feel like getting my usual pure Belgian chocolate frappe from Coffee Bean…
I feel like going to the beach and look far out into the sea…

Honestly, I feel like crap actually.

2009-02-01T18:31:00.000+08:00

My favourite song at the moment, particularly this acoustic version by boyce avenue.. It makes me realize how blessed I am to have a special someone with me all these while... Whenever I listen to this song, it gives me that warm fuzzy-wuzzy lovey-dovey feeling, and I will have a silly grin on my face.. :-)

2009-01-26T12:21:00.001+08:00

It’s been awhile... And since it is one of those rare occasions when I do have some time to spare... I thought perhaps I should make the effort to update this neglected blog of mine... I have absolutely no idea what to write actually... I’m like having a writer's block or something... Not quite sure where my train of random thoughts is heading to... Oh well... I think it is best that I pause here for a bit and grab my ribena from the fridge... (Yea ribena has somehow become my preferred choice of beverage these days...) Then probably I’ll be lucky enough to have some inkling of inspiration to continue with this blog entry...

Ok I am back... I just heard my neighbour's cute kid greeting someone with a super loud "xin nian kwai ler" at the top of her little lungs... Yup its the first day of the Chinese new ox year... And it doesn’t feel like a Monday, which is a fantastic thing as I do share the same sentiment as Garfield... Only because my timetable on Mondays is one of the heaviest... Urgh.

So how is my own new year coming along... I have to say 2009 started off rather well on a positive note, as 1st January was ushered in a different way this time with very special company... To be frank, I was a little overwhelmed at first, hehe... Overwhelmed in a good way of course, my deepest gratitude for the extremely kind & generous hospitality... :-)

And the new year brings me to a brand new workplace... It is said the pasture is greener on the other side... It is still too early for me to comment on anything... As it is, I have been given the trust to take on a few more added responsibilities.. It is definitely not as easy or glamorous as many others had perceived it to be... There is much major stuff which needs to be addressed & attended to in order to get things back in shape... To be honest, I was kind of bowled over when I realized the tonnes of work I have to do... I am clocking a 12-hour shift almost everyday of the week... I just hope that I won’t get burned-out anytime soon... Unfortunately there is the nagging presence of some ‘annoying’ issues which didn’t help to ease the situation at all... Just the thought of it irritates me like crazy and really makes my blood boil... Sheesh. But looking on the bright side, Alhamdullillah everything else seems to be going along pretty fine... I have all the necessary superior support that I need and I am quite grateful for that.... Plus, it is nearer to home...

And that is why I am now a cyclist... Hehe... I cycle to & from school everyday on my uber cool & chic shiny pink bicycle, which had been lovingly named as ‘Polly’... I’m not exactly an exercise buff for that matter, so this whole cycling idea does help me to do minimal workout for at least 10-15mins, twice daily... In my high heels yes... Heh...

Hmmm what else... Oh ya, Cupcake Chicas is progressing super well... Alhamdullillah... February will be an extremely busy month for us, we have wedding cupcake orders for all 4 weekends... Woo hoo ;-) And there are some more orders coming in for the next few months... I should really do some serious updating of our website... But I haven’t had the chance to get it done properly, all thanks to my super hectic schedule (school work, CCA, remedials, tuitions & family chauffeuring duties) and my lack of knowledge in designing funky web pages... I think I shall go borrow some books from the library and try to squeeze in whatever little time I have to read up on that...

Ok my phone’s ringing... Muchacho is calling me... *goofy grin* Till next time... Ciao....

2008-09-23T05:25:00.001+08:00

i am still very much disturbed by the deadly bombing of the marriott hotel in islamabad, pakistan. i was shocked when i first read the news about it on the net last sunday morning. i find it truly unbelievable that a huge truck loaded with 600 kilos of explosives had been on the busy streets of the capital city. i cannot even imagine the impact it created when it exploded right infront of the hotel and left a huge gaping crater about 6m deep.

when i saw the tv news footage of the incident, my heart cried for the grieving families of the innocent civilians who were killed due to the fatal blast. as the malay saying goes, "berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu yang memikul.." and i understand it is never a nice feeling to have when you're forced to face the death of a beloved family member. it saddens me deeply to know that the explosion occured during the holy month of ramadhan, just moments after the muslims had broken their fast and were enjoying the evening meal with their families.

a few nights ago, muchacho and i had an iftar with his colleagues at tiffany cafe of furama city centre. what would have happen to us if a similar lethal incident had taken place while we were dining? should it really happened (God forbids!), how would our own family members react if they found out that we didnt survive? goodness, i am shuddering at that unpleasant thought.

i can only pray for the affected families to find solace and strength in Him, to brave through this nasty ordeal in His faith. may He bless the many souls who had passed away that fateful night and may this serves as personal lesson for many of us not to take the peace and tranquility we have for granted..

2008-09-21T23:46:00.000+08:00

the conversation we had was a long overdue one. i believe you will certainly agree that it was refreshing to realize that for once, we were neither bickering nor arguing as how we would have usually done in the past. i sincerely hope that you will be happy for me as much as i am happy for you. in my prayers i wish that you will be granted the blessings you needed and may she really be the true one who brings you the joy and happiness you've been seeking. take care my dear friend...